Monday, September 12, 2011

when i was born, i was free,

when i was born, 
i was free,
without a name 
without a cast  or creed  
my past  was the essence of love my parents shared between them 
and future were the dreams they nurtured for me 

i got a name and a family at a price 
i was no longer myself
i was someones son, nephew , brother.... 
they told me god created the universe 
i wondered 
that did it really would have mattered  if my parents would not have created me 

whenever as a child  i fell sick, i saw my mother praying
and when i woke up in the middle of the night ,
i always saw my mother 
the god was never there 
and my father on earth always held my hand 
i dont know about our father in heaven 

as i grew up 
i felt the cobwebs tangle my being 
i was defined by a religion and dazzled by faith 
and when nothing else worked 
i was coerced by rhetorics
of  angles and demons, of devil and god
it was a serendipity 
that  as i plotted to steal my younger brothers chocolates, 
i discovered the devil ,
and when he came to know of the plot , he gave me those chocolates
alas i saw god
my bully classmate pushed me,   i fell and  i felt a demon
the class teacher picked me up, and i saw the eyes of an angel 
so easy it was 
they were so close to us 
and we grope into volumes to find them

i know when i die 
i will not carry any Karmic debts along 
for there are none 
my conscious is responsible for the acts i intentionally commit 
and then it is also defined by the bias of my conscious 
if i get sucked up into the vortex of greed i die un-contented  
but if i accept the truth that i was born naked 
i will die in peace 
with myself 

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