A DIRGE FOR MY DYING SOUL

“Soul can neither be created nor destroyed
It changes from one form to the other.
In its invariable cycles of birth and death
In the mortal domain
Nirvana is a myth…”

I set my soul free
Not to amalgamate with divine
But as an offering for chÖd
To the Phantoms of the past
To come
And devour it
“Oh the dakinis and the demons
Come
And shred my soul
Into countless portion
For it does not belongs to anyone
It abandoned those which belonged to it
And
It was abandoned by whom it belonged to


Come
Fulfill your hunger
Bite your fangs deep into it
And suck its nectar
Mutilate it beyond recognition
So not a man or beast can put it back together
It bears the burdens
Of countless miseries it caused to
The known and the unknown
By design or default.”

It was a free spirit
And In search of its essence
It wondered into deep forests
From day to dawn
With no ill intent or malice
It picked up some good
And some bad karma
In its pursuit to be fair and tolerant
It denounced with great efforts
The evils of jealousy and possessiveness
To be tested again and again
By its master




It was a human soul
This passed through great tribulations
Every time it tried to touch its essence
At first it was deemed alien
And then
Sentenced “non- communicdo”
and plunged into an abyss of uncertain
Where if remained confined
For 18 long years
Passing through fires of pathos
And hail of emotional thundershowers
It crossed glaciers of distrust
And swamps of reticence
It traced its path through the arctic desert
Like a lung- gom –pa
In trance with its concentration fixed at a distant star
Canting the sacred mantra
And now again
A test challenges it
It is a Human soul
As jealous and as possessive as all human souls are

it has amassed the strength to overcome such emotions
with efforts
it is spent to be fair, or to fight
to besiege , or bestow
to get or give
to snatch or spare
its essence

In this short lived battle
The conflict was intense
The zeal to win and gain forever its essence
Gave way to loss to its quintessence
The power to destroy it

It fluttered and yelp in agony
Like a banshee
( to be heard)
But the meanings died in the pandemonium of candor
And with deft dictate
It was sentenced inert
You belong to no one
…………………………………….
And thrown into the flames of gloom
To wander like a zombie
In search of light

“ Oh the flames
The cold flames of darkness
Engulf me
And infuse into me the dark matter
Induce into me the pain of thousand partings
tear me apart
and ground me
Into a coarse sewage
Foul and repulsive
Like putrefied human flesh full of maggots
Devouring it into dust”.